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    Matt Turner

    Jew Score:



    June 24, 1994 —

    Would you like to become Lithuanian? You, the reader of this profile. Our guess is... probably not? Unless you have a hankering for vedarai, pork intestines stuffed with potatoes? That's a hard pass.

    To you, the reader of this profile, there is really no benefit to becoming Lithuanian. That's because you are not a professional soccer player! You see, since Lithuania is part of the European Union (someone let them in for some reason), if an athlete can obtain Lithuanian nationality, they will have many more opportunities in Europe.

    Matt Turner did just that. Currently a goalkeeper for the rather lame New England Revolution, he is considered one of the top prospects in the US national pool. Turner is considering moving to Europe's greener pastures down the line, so he researched his ancestry. Turns out (no pun intended) that his grandfather came from Lithuania, so Matt became Lithuanian and secured that EU passport.

    Actually, Turned found out that he is a Lithuanian Jew... Would you like to become a Lithuanian Jew?

    Let's not answer that one.

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    November 2, 2020

    See Also

    Brenden Aaronson

    Dan Calichman

    Zac MacMath

    Domantas Sabonis

    Daniel Steres
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