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    Ish and I were watching our flock of sheep and playing tic-tac-toe (I always let him go first, so it's more of a fair game), when dad comes over. "You wanna go hiking?", he says. "Sure!", Ish screams out. He loves hiking.

    "No, no," dad says, "It's just gonna be me and Isaac this time around." "Oh come on, dad!", yells Ish. "It's not fair! Isaac doesn't even like hiking!" "Not everything in life is fair," says dad and sighs. "Now you run along."

    Ish tries to argue, but dad shoos him off and even gives him a kick in the tush. Ish runs crying to his mom. Dad always tells me to call her "Aunt Hagar", but that just seems weird. She's not really my aunt. Mom doesn't like her, to say the least.

    "Alright, dad," I say. "Let me get some stuff. You reckon we're gonna need a torch?" "No," he says, "this will be over before dark." "So it's gonna be a short hike?," I ask. "It's almost noon already." "Sure," he says, and then takes a long pause. "You don't need to pack anything. We'll be done by supper."

    "Where are we going?", I ask. "Oh, just up Mount Moriah," dad replies. "But there is nothing on that mountain!", I say. "Must everything have a purpose, son?", he ponders. "Ideally," I reply. "You're too smart for your own good," he says and sighs again. What's with all the sighing?

    "Why the knife?", I ask, noticing the big blade hanging from his belt. "In case we encounter any robbers." "But we have nothing on us! What would they even rob?!" "OH, BE QUIET!", he screams. "JUST FOLLOW ME AND SHUT UP!" Dad can be such a jerk sometimes.

    So we trot up the mountain, dad, me, and one lamb who decided to tag along for some reason. I try to shoo him off, but he won't listen. Oh well, let him be. He's a very playful lamb, running around us in circles. I think I'll call him Jimmy. Maybe he'll make this pointless hike a little less boring...

    Verdict: Jew.

    April 8, 2020

    See Also



    Isaac the Jew


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