Spain, 1188

"I've heard that King Alfonso has taken a new lover."

"Sssshhhh! People might be listening!"

"She is a gorgeous woman, that one..."

"Surely, she can't rival Queen Leanor!"

"Come on, don't be ridiculous. Queen Leanor looks like a horse."

"Horses can be very lovely!"

"You don't say..."

"I won't let you speak ill of the queen!"

"Alright already, sheesh. Don't want you want to know about this new one?"

"I do, I do!"

"She is from Toledo..."

"I've been to Toledo. What a crummy town."

"They call her Rahel la Fermosa, Rahel the Beautiful..."

"Rahel?"

"That's right."

"One of... those?"

"Yep, one of THOSE."

"And the king knows?"

"Oh, the king knows."

"And he doesn't care?"

"Her name is Rachel the BEAUTIFUL, dumbass. Of course he doesn't care. Now shut up and bring me my piss pot."

Rahel Esra, the Jewess of Toledo, was the lover of King Alfonso VIII of Castille for seven years... until she was murdered by medieval antisemites.