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    Winona Ryder

    Jew Score:



    (Winona Laura Horowitz)
    October 29, 1971 —

    If this website was started fifteen years ago (we know that's impossible, but please bear with us for the sake of this introduction), we would have raved about Winona Ryder. If this website was started ten years ago, we would have been beaming with positivity. If this website was started five years ago, we would have been optimistic about her comeback. But this website was started just last week.

    Oh Winona! Why have you forsaken us?

    Are you really the same girl who triumphed over the three evil Heathers? Was that so long ago? We were all so young back then! Oh Winona...

    You were one of us, Winona, you hippie-raised Horowitz! A nice Jewish girl who slew the three-headed WASPy dragon! A beautiful Jewish girl who was so smart, so likable, so...

    We've grown up since then, Winona, and so have you. Some of us go on to make websites about Jews, others steal purses from Hollywood boutiques. To each his own... to each her own.

    But we still haven't lost hope, Winona. We'd welcome you back with open arms. But if that's not for you... we'll just have to settle for Natalie Portman.

    Verdict: Jew.

    September 8, 2006

    See Also

    Matt Damon

    Janeane Garofalo

    River Phoenix

    Natalie Portman

    Christian Slater
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