Coming to you from Bizarro World, it's the first annual Wejies, celebrating the worst in all Jews! The Wejies, sponsored by Glazed Ham. Glazed Ham: if you don't love it, you're a Jew!
Tonight's first award goes to the Worst Jewish Comedian of All Time! The field has been wielded down to these four awful candidates: Pauly Shore! Andrew Dice Clay! Adam Sandler! And... what the hell, we gotta throw him a bone, Gilbert Gottfried!
And the winner... I mean loser is... My money is on Dice, what about you? The envelope, please! What do you know... it's a write-in candidate! Is that allowed? I'm told that in Bizarro World, it is!
Your Wejie for the Worst Jewish Comedian of All Time goes to... Dave Coulier! Dave Coulier, who turns out to be a quarter Jewish! Now, I'm not Jewish myself, but I'm sure our Jewish viewers are cringing at this news!
Come on stage, Dave, to accept your award. No, we beg you, stop! Stop the jokes! Cut! It! Out!...