"I have always thought that if a Jew ever became President, he would turn out to be an Episcopalian." — Harry Golden

The man Golden was talking about? None other than Barry Goldwater, whose reactionary candidacy was demolished by Lyndon Johnson in the 1964 presidential election. As it turns out, Goldwater's original family name was Goldwasser, and he was, in fact, half Jewish by birth, and even self-identified as a Jew.

You know what Goldwater also turned out to be? A UFO nut! Yes, this ultra conservative dinosaur somehow harbored a soft spot for flying saucers. In fact, he was dying to find out if the US government was hiding any info about aliens... Perhaps that's why he wanted to become president?

So, no Jewish president. And no half-Jewish, Episcopalian, super conservative, UFO-loving president.

Probably for the best...