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    Jonah

    Jew Score:
    12

    I5

    O5

    K2

    It's really cold in here.

    Is that a coin? I think it's a coin! I wonder if it's gold or silver...

    Stomach is starting to growl.

    There is so much seaweed in here! Nasty!

    Getting hungrier and hungrier. How long have I been in here?

    I think I just stepped in something.

    Another coin? I'm gonna be rich! If I ever get out...

    I miss you, dear wife...

    G-d damn, it's cold in here!

    Thought it was a grape, tried to chew it. Definitely not a grape.

    I miss you, dear Batsheba...

    Not a fan of half-digested fish. Might not have a choice.

    Ewww! That was disgusting! I just threw up in my mouth!

    I wonder if the wife knows about Batsheba...

    If I ever get out of here, I promise to never go fishing again!

    G-d, why have you forsaken me?

    You know what I could use right now? I nice mutton sandwich.

    I know! I will EAT my way out!

    That's right! I will eat this whale from the inside!

    Here is a stick, here is a rock...

    Now tie them together with some seaweed... I'm a regular MacGyver!

    What the heck is a MacGyver? Am I hallucinating?

    What do you know, a home-made spoon!

    Did I just call this a home? I guess I'm getting used to living here...

    I miss you, dear Batsheba!

    Alright, let's ram this spoon into this wall...

    Now, here is a healthy chunk... Gulp!

    Hmmm, doesn't taste too bad... And I am one step closer to freedom!

    I'm coming, dear Batsheba!

    Let's take another bite...

    I just had a terrible, terrible thought: whales don't have scales!

    My G-d, what have I done?

    Only fish with scales are Kosher!

    Whales are not Kosher!

    Holy crap, another coin. I have no time for coins!

    G-d, will you ever forgive me?

    Well, I've made my decision. I might spend my whole life inside this fish, but I will not take another bite.

    Are we good, G-d?

    You'll rescue me, right?

    Right?...

    Oh, dear Batsheba!

    Verdict: Jew.

    April 17, 2015

    See Also

    Ehud

    Elijah

    G-d

    Job

    Noah
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