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    Yevno Azef

    Jew Score:



    1869 – April 24, 1918

    You are on trial for murder and the case is not looking good. They have multiple witnesses, piles of evidence, and reams of testimony, all of which makes it pretty clear that you are the culprit (which, sorry to say, you are). The good news? You're probably making JONJ's sociopaths page. The bad? You're never gonna get to see what we write about you because the WiFi in prison is lousy.

    You have one chance, one last hail mary (moses?) to escape certain conviction: "Your honor?" you begin, "I would like to request a recess. I'll go home tonight and tomorrow I'll return to the court with all the evidence needed to prove my innocence."

    And to your great shock, the judge grants your request.

    Too ludicrous to believe? Well it happened for double-agent Yevno Azef. He was on trial for taking the government's money to infiltrate the burgeoning socialist party in Tsarist Russia, while also assassinating major political figures for the soon-to-be-reds.

    He was granted the day's reprieve and, duh, ran for Germany, where he lived out the rest of his days in (relative) peace making corsets. On the one hand, it's pretty sad that the Russians let a major criminal slip through their fingers like that.

    On the other, any country so stupid as to believe an excuse like "just going home to get all my evidence" really deserves whatever it gets.

    Verdict: Jew.

    June 14, 2013

    See Also

    Yakov Blumkin

    Dmitry Bogrov

    David Frankfurter

    Fanny Kaplan

    Yakov Serebryansky
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