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    About the Jew Score
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    David Rosen

    Jew Score:



    January 22, 1930 —

    Which is the Jewish video game console?

    Leaving aside the proto-consoles, the Amigas (too Japanese), Ataris (ibid, despite being American), the Texas Instruments (Texas?! Yeah, right), etc, that leaves us with a concise list of candidates.

    Nintendo has more mascots than a minor league baseball team with a furry fetish. Mario, Luigi, Samus, Link, Kirby... good LORD there's a lot of 'em. Sadly, two Italians, a bounty hunter, an elf, and a pink blob might be the next great HBO series, but Jews they cannot be.

    Sega is best known for Sonic the spiky blue hedgehog who runs like a cheetah and talks like a 10-year old delinquent. So that's an 0-fer.

    Sony used to be represented by such poseurs as Crash Bandicoot but they set him loose in favor of... well... Grand Theft Auto? Drake from Uncharted? Gonefs and vildechayas, regardless.

    Finally there's Microsoft and their XBOX which is represented by the violent, armored Master... Oh why bother.

    So clearly there's no Jewish console, right? Wrong! Because actually it is Sega (SErvice GAmes Japan), whose Jewish co-founder David Rosen steered the studio on and off through the mid-90s.

    Of course, you can't now actually run out and buy said Kosher Konsole, as Sega hasn't made one since the ill-fated Dreamcast in the mid-aughts. Which, honestly, if you've played a Sonic game in the last 20 years, you know is probably for the best...

    Verdict: Jew.

    September 17, 2012

    See Also

    Ralph Baer

    The Japanese

    Michael Kogan

    Warren Spector

    Jack Tramiel
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