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    Julie Zetlin

    Jew Score:



    June 30, 1990 —

    We love the Olympics. Let's repeat that. We LOVE the Olympics.

    From the opening to the closing ceremonies, we are glued to the television set, watching sports we wouldn't give a chance under normal circumstances. Archery? Archery is awesome. Fencing? Oh, sure, we can't really tell who stabbed who, but fencing is great. Beach volleyball? Do we really need to explain why we like beach volleyball?

    There is one exception. Rhythmic gymnastics.

    No, not your regular (artistic) gymnastics, we watch that, even if the girls all look like they are 12 and the men's bulges are somewhat unnerving. We're talking about rhythmic gymnastics, where there are no bulges to be found. For better or for worse.

    Rhythmic gymnastics is basically dancing on a mat. There is some kind of an apparatus, a ball, or a hoop, or a ribbon — yes, a ribbon! — and some snazzy outfits, and, you know, we'd rather not go into it further. Other than to mention that the US's only representative at the 2012 Games, Julie Zetlin, is Jewish. She is not expected to medal.

    Oh, and synchronized swimming. There is no way in hell we're watching synchronized swimming.

    Other than that, we LOVE the Olympics!

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 2, 2012

    See Also

    Linoy Ashram

    Gabby Douglas

    Aly Raisman

    Sean Rosenthal

    Kerri Strug
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