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    Emil Bessels

    Jew Score:



    June 2, 1846 – March 30, 1888

    "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?" — Homer Simpson

    Back in the 1800s, the big thing to do was go "exploring", discovering places that other, browner people were already living and claim them for your European nation of choice. And after all those places had been "explored", people would instead venture to places that no one in their right minds would attempt to go, like the Arctic.

    One such meshuggenah? German/Jew, naturalist/surgeon Emil Bessels, who found himself on a slightly-longer-than-three-hour-tour on the good ship Polaris. All of which would be neat — hooray, Jewish Arctic explorer! — except for the fact that, apparently, Dr. Bessels and his captain, one Charles Francis Hall, did not see eye-to-eye on a few things.

    This happens. After all, who gets along with their boss all the time? Usually you just go home and shake it off. Or change jobs if things get really bad. When you're stuck on a tiny ship on the way to the Arctic? Not so much. So Emil turned to the most rational resolution at hand: arsenic.

    OK — so maybe that wasn't the most rational option. Talk it out, maybe? Just ignore the guy? Why bother when there's poisoning to be done? Even better, it all worked out for ol' Emil. Hall died but the cause was unable to be established (his body was later exhumed but it was too late for the truth), leaving Dr. Bessels to live a full (for the 1800s), Arctic-exploration-filled life.

    Good for him?

    Verdict: Jew.

    May 18, 2012

    See Also

    Mr. Burns

    Peter Freuchen

    Fritz Loewe

    Solomon Nunes Carvalho

    Julius Popper
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