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    The Vikings

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    Recent scientific research has revealed that Jews and Scandinavians — specifically vikings — have a shared genetic history, probably dating back to intrepid interlopers into the lands of the Khazars.

    "Hey Mortie, what are you and Linda doing this weekend?"

    "We're gonna pile the kids into the Cadillac and go pillaging. You should come!"

    "Oy, again with the pillaging. Why all this meshuggenah pillaging, Mortie?"

    "Eh, Shlomo, my doctor, you know, he says all the rowing and looting and burning is good for my heart. Plus Linda's parents live near where we'll be raiding and they have a pool for the kids, so..."

    "Oy veyizmir. My arms still ache from cracking that vildechaya's skull the last time Rivka and I went with you. And that longboat, my back aches just thinking about that longboat."

    "Well, no one says you have to go, Shlomo. But remember, they say there's an all you can eat buffet at Vallhalla and the early bird is half price!"

    "Fine, fine. Count us in, ya gonef."

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    April 17, 2012

    See Also

    The Cherokee

    Crimean Karaites

    The Khazars

    The Sea Peoples

    The Spanish
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