Welcome to the website, you stupid yutz.

You managed to type and click a mouse at the same time, congrats! You even spelled everything correctly, which, let's be clear, means you're a Grade A moron instead of all those B and C types wandering the streets. So, what, do you want a trophy? Please, you'd probably drop it on your head and get even stupider — Hashem knows we can't have that.

What's that? You don't think you're that dumb?

Listen up, fucktard, you had to look up if the original insult comedian, Don Rickles, is Jewish or not. Clearly you're not the brightest bulb in the cheap, plug-in menorah you call your family tree.

What, do you gotta ask if bagels are kosher, too?