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    Susie Essman

    Jew Score:



    May 31, 1955 —

    "Your website is nice and all," said one of our mothers, "but do you really have to swear that much?"

    "But mom," we answered, in between bites of home-made latkes, "we really don't swear that often. And if we do, it's for a reason."

    "So what's your reason here?", she asked, taking out a printed copy of one of out profiles, with 'fuck' circled with a highlighter.

    "An exception that proves the rule? Besides, it's not the 50s anymore. Everyone swears now."

    "If everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you too?"

    "That's not the point, mom. Language is evolving all the time..."

    "You call this evolving?"

    "Oh, come on. You watch 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', don't you? It's a great show, Jewish humor..."


    "What about Susie on that show? Every second word out of her mouth is 'fuck'."

    "Are you comparing your writing to Larry David?"

    "That's not what I'm saying, mom..."

    "And besides, I'm sure Susie is not like that in real life..."

    "That's the point, mom! Our website is not real life! Just because we write 'fuck' and 'shit', doesn't mean we say it!"

    "Then why does your kid run around singing 'shit, shit, shit'?"



    "More latkes, please?"

    Verdict: Jew.

    September 2, 2011

    See Also

    Lenny Bruce

    Larry David

    Bob Einstein

    Jeff Garlin

    Richard Kind
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