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    About the Jew Score
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    Itzhak Perlman

    Jew Score:



    August 31, 1945 —

    For years, countless Jewish families have hoped that their children would become violin virtuosos. So Jewish child after Jewish child had a violin plopped into their little laps, and told to practice, practice, practice. Who knows, bubbeleh, you just might be the next Itzhak Perlman! And if not, at least you'll learn discipline! Besides, what do you expect a Jewish child to do after school? Play sports? Let's get real here. Now practice!

    Unfortunately for Jewish parents, most of these hopes end up going for naught. So, as the tortured strings of their child's violin tore through the dusky air at a recital, one Jewish parent after another would come to the realization that their progeny was not exactly a prodigy. The violin would be packed into its case and put into the deepest reaches of the attic. The child would be told to go play sports... or something. The dream shelved forever. Unless there was a younger child in the family, and then — another virtuoso? Maybe? Sigh.

    Well, we've noticed a trend recently. It looks like Jewish parents have become a little less domineering, and it is the Asians who want their child to be if not the next Perlman, then the next Midori. And that is fine with us. So what if the world's concert halls are filled with Lees and Yangs as opposed to Steins and Bergs? Jewish children will find a way to succeed, with or without their parents pushing them.

    Besides, we'll always have Perlman.

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 18, 2011

    See Also

    Jack Benny

    George Gershwin

    Jascha Heifetz

    Vladimir Horowitz

    Arthur Rubinstein
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2024.