April 3, 1987 —
This summer, the Cleveland Indians, a downtrodden franchise if there ever was one, found themselves in contention. So the Tribe called up a minor leaguer to shore up their deficiencies at second base: Jason Kipnis.
And we at JONJ, even those of us who are not into baseball, rejoiced. For Kipnis is not only considered one of the best prospects in the sport, he was also supposedly Jewish. And to add a talented youngster to the list of Jewish Major Leaguers... Well, can't go wrong with that.
But we were gonna hold off profiling Kipnis. After all, who knows if he'll ever amount to anything in the bigs. But after Kipnis hit home runs in three consecutive games, it started to look that we would profile him sooner rather than later.
And here we are, we the revelation, alas, that Kipnis, although a member of the Tribe, is not exactly a member of the Tribe. Although half-Jewish through his father, he is now a practicing, crucifix-wearing Catholic.
So much for rejoicing.
Verdict: Barely a Jew.
August 11, 2011