Back in 2016, a cute little show premiered on Netflix and became a runaway hit. "Stranger Things". Yes, that was nine years ago.

Four middle school kids... You know, we're not gonna rehash the story. Basically, the Duffer Brothers took a bunch of 1980s tropes, hit hard on nostalgia, and had on their hands a genuine gem. Whether you liked sci-fi, horror, mystery, small-town charm, pleated pants, or Winona Ryder, there was something there for you.

So of course there had to be a season 2... which pretty much repeated the plot of season 1 (except for a terrible spin-off episode that was so bad we immediately erased it from memory but was really the first sign of trouble). And then there was season 3, which took place in a mall... Who doesn't love malls! It's the 80s! And then there was season 4, which took some of the action to the Soviet Union, including a quixotic plot to smuggle peanut butter, and turned the Jewy nerd Murray (played by Jewy nerd Brett Gelman) into some kind of a karate champ, and bloated some episodes into movie-length run times, including the finale that clocked in at 2 hours 20 minutes, because that's what makes good TV!

Not.

So now there will be the final season 5, if Netflix ever decides to release it. The once-middle schoolers are now in their 20s, so unless there is some kind of a time jump, we're gonna have to deal with 90210-style aging shenanigans. And as much as a part of us would like to finish up the story, we really don't want to sit through the bloat just to be completist.

Yes, even with our love for Winona Ryder.